The Movie Timeline - of all the movie timelines on all the net, you walked into this one


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2009

Tuesday 30th June: Sartana Rivera starts surveillance of Operation: Network. (Mexico - Machete)

July: Burt and Verona's baby daughter is born. (Away We Go)

July: George Simmons' doctor tells him that he has leukemia and that he might have only six months left to live. (Funny People)

July: The film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is released. (UK & USA - Funny People)

July: George asks Ira to write jokes for him after he sees his act. (Funny People)

July: James Taylor plays at a corporate gig for Myspace. Ira and George do stand-up comedy following his performance. (Funny People)

July: Traffic Enforcer of the Month: Richard Connors (New York City - The Other Guys)

Thursday 2nd July: Kenton beats Tandy in a boxing match. (Phoenix, Arizona - Real Steel)

Friday 3rd July: The Arizona Today Sports headline: "Kenton Makes Tandy Sweat." (Arizona - Real Steel)

Saturday 4th July: Zirkonians try to invade Earth but are stopped by the Pearson family at a vacation house. (Michigan - Aliens in the Attic)

Sunday 5th July: Amy writes about her and Nick having sex in the library. (Gone Girl)

Tuesday 7th July: Padre records Michael Booth's confession at 8:23 A.M. (Mexico - Machete)

Sunday 12th July: Pierre Perrault's driver's license is issued. (Beechum, Illinois - Source Code)

Wednesday 15th July: Leo Koenig posts his Cute Cuddly Kittens video on YouTube under his username, MrLeoKoenig. (Funny People)

Wednesday 15th July: Aaron picks up Aldous Snow. (London, England - Get Him to the Greek)

Thursday 16th July: Aldous Snow appears on The Today Show and performs "The Clap" instead of "African Child". (New York City, NY - Get Him to the Greek)

Friday 17th July: Aaron and Aldous visit Aldous' father. (Las Vegas, NV - Get Him to the Greek)

Saturday 18th July: Aaron Green brings Aldous Snow to the Greek Theatre and reconciles with his girlfriend. (Los Angeles, CA - Get Him to the Greek)

Sunday 19th July: Aaron and his girlfriend Daphne burn their bedsheets. (Los Angeles, CA - Get Him to the Greek)

Wednesday 22nd July: Senator McLaughlin murders an illegal immigrant from Mexico and it is videotaped. (Somewhere Along the Texas and Mexico Border - Machete)

Thursday 23rd July: Michael Booth offers machete $150,000 to kill Senator McLaughlin. (Mexico - Machete)

Friday 24th July: Machete is double-crossed by one of Booth's henchmen when he tries to kill McLaughlin. Machete is taken to a hospital. He is picked up by Luz and meets Sartana Rivera. He also speaks to his brother, a priest known as Padre. (Mexico - Machete)

Saturday 25th July: Justice Ball XIII Featuring DJ XM at 9:00 P.M. (Los Angeles, CA - Get Him to the Greek)

Saturday 25th July: Padre is crucified. Mexican immigrants rise up against border vigilantes. McLaughlin is killed by the border when he is mistaken for an immigrant. (Mexico - Machete)

Friday 31st July: Doug Billings, Phil Wenneck, Stuart Price, and Alan Garner go to Las Vegas for Doug's bachelor party. (Las Vegas, NV - The Hangover)

Friday 31st July: Nadine dies. (New York City, New York - Kick-Ass 2)

August: Daisy sleeps with Mark Taylor Jackson. Leo sees Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Mark tries to get the role of Tobey Maguire's character's younger brother in a movie. (Funny People)

August: Dre Parker and his mother Sherry move to China. Mr. Han starts teaching Dre kung fu. (Beijing, China - The Karate Kid)

August: Law Enforcer of the Month: David Chambers (New York City - The Other Guys)

Saturday 1st August: Phil, Stu, and Alan wake up with hangovers and discover that Doug is missing. (Las Vegas, NV - The Hangover)

Saturday 1st August: Frank Barnes receives a 90-day notice saying that he will be fired. (Unstoppable)

Sunday 2nd August: Stu, Phil, and Alan find Doug on the roof of Caesar's Palace. (Las Vegas, NV - The Hangover)

Thursday 6th August: A type on a gravestone says that Nadine was born on this date. (New York City, New York - Kick-Ass 2)

Wednesday 12th August: Pedicure is scheduled. (New York City - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps)

Saturday 15th August: Mei Ying invites Dre to the Qixi Festival. (Beijing, China - The Karate Kid)

Sunday 16th August: Dre kisses Mei at the Qixi Festival. (Beijing, China - The Karate Kid)

September: Elizabeth Halsey returns to John Adams Middle School. (Chicago, Illinois - Bad Teacher)

September: Joel Reynolds has sex with his wife Suzie. They take a break from it afterwards. (Ohio - Extract)

September: The month that Aldous originally thought the gig at the Greek would take place. (Get Him to the Greek)

September: Mindy starts attending Dave's high school and beats up a couple of bullies. (New York City, NY - Kick-Ass)

September: Traffic Enforcer of the Month: Chuck Potter (New York City - The Other Guys)

September: In the last week of September, Will Colson threatens a cop with a gun and tells him to stay away from his wife. (Unstoppable)

Tuesday 1st September: Guitar Hero 5 is released. (North America - Couples Retreat)

Saturday 5th September: John Butch returns the book. (East Great Falls, Michigan - American Pie Presents: The Book of Love)

Monday 7th September: Howard's art show. (New York City - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps)

Saturday 12th September: At 8:49 A.M., Robert Neville discovers a cure. At 8:52 A.M., he gives his life defending it. Anna Montez and her son Ethan drive to Vermont with the cure. (New York City, New York - I Am Legend)

Tuesday 15th September: An accounting firm blows up. (New York City - The Other Guys)

Wednesday 23rd September: Terry tells Allen that they should do good cop-bad cop but Allen mishears him and does bad cop-bad cop. (New York City - The Other Guys)

Thursday 24th September: New York Post headline: "Viva Las Vegas" (New York City - The Other Guys)

October: Step loses a testicle during an accident at Reynold's Extract. Cindy tries to persuade him to sue the company. Joel pays a gigolo named Brad to have sex with his wife. (Ohio - Extract)

October: A date on a car's ID. (New York City - Freejack)

October: Traffic Enforcer of the Month: Terry Hoitz (New York City - The Other Guys)

Friday 2nd October: Catherine Lebeouf's driver's license is issued. (Ridgemere, Illinois - Source Code)

Tuesday 6th October: County Bowl takes place. (Los Angeles, California - The Green Hornet)

Wednesday 7th October: Elise and her boyfriend Adrian get a marriage license application. (The Adjustment Bureau)

Monday 12th October: Tony De've'nni gets the book renewed. (East Great Falls, Michigan - American Pie Presents: The Book of Love)

Monday 12th October: A train carrying toxic waste appears to be unstoppable. (Unstoppable)

Thursday 15th October: 81 people die in a plane crash, that John Koestler just about saw coming thanks to some numbers on a piece of paper. (Knowing)

Friday 16th October: Astrophysics professor John Koestler meets Diana Wayland, daughter of crazy Lucinda Embry. (Knowing)

Saturday 17th October: John Koestler tries and fails to prevent a Manhattan subway crash. (New York - Knowing)

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